Sunday, July 29, 2012

It's taken forty years to realize just how deeply people feel criticism

It's taken forty years to realize just how deeply people feel criticism. A disagreement with one fine point can be taken as disregard for the person themself. On the flip side, it seems people that are very quick to dismiss the opinions and thoughts of others, then express frustration when they think those people are equally dismissive. To me, that is a vicious cycle. Lesson learned for me? "The only winning move is not to [critique]" in social settings, unless there is a very good cause.

I missed the boat so long because I've been in a state of mind of consistently wanting to be critiqued to improve myself, at least in my own eyes. I accept some statements, and dismiss others, and then move on. In this, I do not believe that I've often dismissed any persons outright. I value the person who critiques me because I seek constant feedback (whether I accept the feedback or not). But in this drive, I've very likely offended a great many people who are not like minded in this regard. Criticism of comments or challenging of opinions is not taken well by many people, regardless to how fine the point.

Ironically, this posting is a critique, but not directed any particular person. It is an expression of my own opinion about my own feelings and thoughts. In case someone comes across this message and thinks it's about them, it's not. It is about me. It is a lament that comes from the culmination of a great many experiences.

No comments: