Enjoy this Game of Thrones humor
Showing posts with label Joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joke. Show all posts
Monday, September 12, 2016
Friday, November 18, 2011
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Man Lost for 2 Days in Cube Maze
CHICAGO, IL – AP October 30, 2006 – Police reported that local man Michael Tanner who was recently reported missing for over 48 hours was found at work, lost in the maze of cubicles. According to authorities, the local firm where Michael Tanner had just started working has over 5 acres of cubicles in one building. The building is divided into four sections, each nearly filled with cubicles from wall to wall.
Michael Tanner had just started working at the firm earlier in the week. His wife became concerned after he didn’t return home from his first day of employment and contacted the local police. After he was missing for 24 hours, they opened a missing person case and began a local search for Mr. Tanner.
“We didn’t know where to look. Mr. Tanner reportedly commuted to work by bus. This didn’t provide us with any leads to follow,” stated one of the investigating officers.
A co-worker actually found Michael Tanner after seeing an email bulletin issued by the human resources department asking everyone if anyone had any information as to his whereabouts. “I got this email from HR asking for help in finding Michael. They included his badge ID photo. As soon as I saw it, I know who it was. Michael appeared to be working in the cube next to mine this morning when I walked in. He seemed disheveled and out-of-it, so I assumed he was [an] IT [member] setting up the cube for a new employee. Who knew he was actually lost?” reported Imam Wong who discovered Michael Tanner.
“I’ve never seen anything like this before. It’s as though this firm’s cubicles actual form some sort of wilderness of technology,” stated the police chief.
Michael Tanner stated he was happy to be found. He had an urgent need to use the restroom near the end of the work day. When he got out of the restroom, he had forgotten which way he came from. He looked around for someone to ask, but couldn’t find anyone in any of the nearby cubicles. Apparently, because of a series of recent lay-offs, over 80% of the cubicles had remained unoccupied. It turns out that the maze of cubicles was so vast, even the Exit signs weren’t any help. When he finally did find an exit, he realized he had forgotten his ID badge to allow him to leave. After spending over half an hour trying to find his way to the main entrance or security, he settled into a nearby cubicle to rest. He fell asleep.
The next day, embarrassed by his predicament, he simply roamed an area of cubicles that were actually only 1000 feet from his own cubicle. “When I woke up, other employees had already come and started work in nearby cubes. I felt embarrassed. I attempted to leave the area to find another group of employees who maybe didn’t see me sleeping. After awhile, I just picked a desk to rest at. I didn’t see a single person the rest of the day. I knew my wife must be worried, so I attempted to use a phone to call out, but didn’t remember the code to dial outside. So I tried to call the front desk, but they didn’t set up 0 to get the operator. The operator was actually a four digit code that would be impossible to guess,” stated Michael Tanner.
After failing to again find his way out for a second day, he again settled in a random cubicle. “I was tired and hungry and not thinking straight by this point,” he added.
Again, he had awoken after nearby coworkers started work. I was even more embarrassed than the day before. “I just sat up and pretended to be working by turning on the computer and trying to get it to logon on. I guess this is when Imam first saw me”, Michael Tanner continued. “He just came up to me and said, `Are you Michael Tanner?’. I replied that I was and he gave me this big smile and said a lot of people where looking for me. I was so happy, but so very embarrassed too.”
“I’m just happy we found him,” his wife elated.
The firm’s HR department issued a statement which read in part, “We are gratified that Mr. Tanner was found safe and secure. Measures have been taken to improve navigability of our complex.”
Asked as to why Michael Tanner couldn’t just look over the cubicle walls, his wife responded, “He’s only 5 feet 3 inches tall. He’s short, but not a little person. I’m told their cube walls are the standard 6 foot tall. Large corporations need to take greater care in designing the layout of their cube mazes. My husband has experienced a traumatic experience similar to that of being lost in the wilderness.”
Michael Tanner had just started working at the firm earlier in the week. His wife became concerned after he didn’t return home from his first day of employment and contacted the local police. After he was missing for 24 hours, they opened a missing person case and began a local search for Mr. Tanner.
“We didn’t know where to look. Mr. Tanner reportedly commuted to work by bus. This didn’t provide us with any leads to follow,” stated one of the investigating officers.
A co-worker actually found Michael Tanner after seeing an email bulletin issued by the human resources department asking everyone if anyone had any information as to his whereabouts. “I got this email from HR asking for help in finding Michael. They included his badge ID photo. As soon as I saw it, I know who it was. Michael appeared to be working in the cube next to mine this morning when I walked in. He seemed disheveled and out-of-it, so I assumed he was [an] IT [member] setting up the cube for a new employee. Who knew he was actually lost?” reported Imam Wong who discovered Michael Tanner.
“I’ve never seen anything like this before. It’s as though this firm’s cubicles actual form some sort of wilderness of technology,” stated the police chief.
Michael Tanner stated he was happy to be found. He had an urgent need to use the restroom near the end of the work day. When he got out of the restroom, he had forgotten which way he came from. He looked around for someone to ask, but couldn’t find anyone in any of the nearby cubicles. Apparently, because of a series of recent lay-offs, over 80% of the cubicles had remained unoccupied. It turns out that the maze of cubicles was so vast, even the Exit signs weren’t any help. When he finally did find an exit, he realized he had forgotten his ID badge to allow him to leave. After spending over half an hour trying to find his way to the main entrance or security, he settled into a nearby cubicle to rest. He fell asleep.
The next day, embarrassed by his predicament, he simply roamed an area of cubicles that were actually only 1000 feet from his own cubicle. “When I woke up, other employees had already come and started work in nearby cubes. I felt embarrassed. I attempted to leave the area to find another group of employees who maybe didn’t see me sleeping. After awhile, I just picked a desk to rest at. I didn’t see a single person the rest of the day. I knew my wife must be worried, so I attempted to use a phone to call out, but didn’t remember the code to dial outside. So I tried to call the front desk, but they didn’t set up 0 to get the operator. The operator was actually a four digit code that would be impossible to guess,” stated Michael Tanner.
After failing to again find his way out for a second day, he again settled in a random cubicle. “I was tired and hungry and not thinking straight by this point,” he added.
Again, he had awoken after nearby coworkers started work. I was even more embarrassed than the day before. “I just sat up and pretended to be working by turning on the computer and trying to get it to logon on. I guess this is when Imam first saw me”, Michael Tanner continued. “He just came up to me and said, `Are you Michael Tanner?’. I replied that I was and he gave me this big smile and said a lot of people where looking for me. I was so happy, but so very embarrassed too.”
“I’m just happy we found him,” his wife elated.
The firm’s HR department issued a statement which read in part, “We are gratified that Mr. Tanner was found safe and secure. Measures have been taken to improve navigability of our complex.”
Asked as to why Michael Tanner couldn’t just look over the cubicle walls, his wife responded, “He’s only 5 feet 3 inches tall. He’s short, but not a little person. I’m told their cube walls are the standard 6 foot tall. Large corporations need to take greater care in designing the layout of their cube mazes. My husband has experienced a traumatic experience similar to that of being lost in the wilderness.”
Sunday, January 10, 2010
What's my story?
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Kate *****
>Sent: Wednesday, January 14, 2004 11:53 AM
>To: Matthew *****
>Subject: RE: HI!!
>
>Thangs are great. I'm swamped at work. Took yesterday off to receive 2
>deliveries-a new king bed and a frig. Worked in the garden, walked the dog,
>and totally enjoyed the warm weather. Holidays were delightful.
>What's your story?
What's my story, you ask? Well, at the age of 5 I was living in a home for the mentally insane. My father was a doctor in love with his patient, but like many love affairs in insane asylums, the romance was not meant to last. He moved on, leaving my mother pregnant with me and my evil twin, Horus. We grew up in an orphanage. Horus was always trying to do evil by helping nasty old ladies to cross the street and becoming a lackey for the local YMCA. I, for my part, decided to take a more mundane path. At the age of 8, I built a ray gun that would destroy the moon, which I have proven is the cause of evil insanity. That moon, it's so bright at night, keeping me awake...awake...awake. For some reason this upset the authorities. Something about leaving the Earth helpless at the mercy of huge moon debris, I think, as if that matters to me. So, the nefarious forces of the ATF intervened, taking my ray gun away to use for their own selfish purposes. At that moment, I set out on a life that would allow me to one day rule the world and destroy evil everywhere. I've almost completed my plan twice in the past 10 years, only to be thwarted by some super hero or another. If I have to hear the words, "I'm Batman!" hoarsely uttered by that bat brained fool one more time, I'm going to go crazy myself. He will be the first to go when I am King of Everything, and then I will eliminate my nemesis, Horus where ever he is! ::maniacal laugh::
As for this week, I've just been busy here at work...really busy too. Lots going on. I'm excited about going to Vegas in a couple weeks! woohoo!
>From: Kate *****
>Sent: Wednesday, January 14, 2004 11:53 AM
>To: Matthew *****
>Subject: RE: HI!!
>
>Thangs are great. I'm swamped at work. Took yesterday off to receive 2
>deliveries-a new king bed and a frig. Worked in the garden, walked the dog,
>and totally enjoyed the warm weather. Holidays were delightful.
>What's your story?
What's my story, you ask? Well, at the age of 5 I was living in a home for the mentally insane. My father was a doctor in love with his patient, but like many love affairs in insane asylums, the romance was not meant to last. He moved on, leaving my mother pregnant with me and my evil twin, Horus. We grew up in an orphanage. Horus was always trying to do evil by helping nasty old ladies to cross the street and becoming a lackey for the local YMCA. I, for my part, decided to take a more mundane path. At the age of 8, I built a ray gun that would destroy the moon, which I have proven is the cause of evil insanity. That moon, it's so bright at night, keeping me awake...awake...awake. For some reason this upset the authorities. Something about leaving the Earth helpless at the mercy of huge moon debris, I think, as if that matters to me. So, the nefarious forces of the ATF intervened, taking my ray gun away to use for their own selfish purposes. At that moment, I set out on a life that would allow me to one day rule the world and destroy evil everywhere. I've almost completed my plan twice in the past 10 years, only to be thwarted by some super hero or another. If I have to hear the words, "I'm Batman!" hoarsely uttered by that bat brained fool one more time, I'm going to go crazy myself. He will be the first to go when I am King of Everything, and then I will eliminate my nemesis, Horus where ever he is! ::maniacal laugh::
As for this week, I've just been busy here at work...really busy too. Lots going on. I'm excited about going to Vegas in a couple weeks! woohoo!
Monday, April 28, 2008
GenPets, what are they?
Someone just sent me a link for this new product that is due on the shelves very soon! It's call Genpets.
So, I wonder if they are editable? If so, you can donate them to a local food bank after they die and get a tax write-off for their amortized value.
So, I wonder if they are editable? If so, you can donate them to a local food bank after they die and get a tax write-off for their amortized value.
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