Monday, May 05, 2003

Infamous Miniature Golf story's the story infamous Miniature Golf story..

This one time, like two years ago, I took Miriam to play Miniature Golf at a Golfland in San Jose. She hadn't been to a Miniature Golf place in aeons. So, we get our clubs, balls, scorecard and pencils, then head to the first tee. Being the gentleman that I am, I let her go first. She bends down by sticking her ass up in the air as usual (this being a family type place, mind you) to put the ball on the black mat. It starts rolling around a bit, but finally she makes it stay in place. While this was going on, I'm watching her out of the corner of my eye, just kinda waiting for her to get her ball to stop rolling around. Getting the ball to stay in place was, of course, a pointless exercise given what she does next.

She swings. I hear a panicked "Oh!" She's looking back at me, embarassed, kinda laughing, kinda wimpering. Then I notice the club is no longer in her hands. I briefly look around for it, confused. Then I realize, she's thrown the club up in the air during her swing! I ask, "Where did you throw the club?" Then I realize further, the club went straight up in the air! Worse yet, it hasn't come down yet! Then, my even more profound realization is that it has now been 5 seconds, from when I was wondering why Miriam was embarassed to this moment (when I realized the club was still up in the air), and the club was still up in the air! I shout at Miriam, "Get out of the way!", while using pure instinct as to where not be when it finally decided to come back down to earth. We both duck and run. I turn around, worried that this magic club (which has now been in the air for over 6 seconds) might land on someone else. To my relief, it tumbles to the ground safely, right on the spot that Miriam and I had just ran away from.

We laughed it off, and were relieved no one got hurt. But to this day, we wonder how the hell this club shot straight up out of her hands into the air far enough to land in the same spot a whole 7 seconds later!

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