Ordinary, Not So (stream of consciousness)

Looking at the past, the whole first quarter of my life seems to be as though I was not the person I was supposed to be. It invariably was essential for me to live that portion of my life to become who I am today. Though, it seems I should’ve been able to develop much faster to be me sooner. I know what was holding me back. I know why. It was really something holding me back too. My experiences where indeed limited by my willingness to venture out of the safe cave. When I finally did, it was one wild ride, as though I was being taking along a course to catch me up with where I was supposed to be. I'm living an ordinary life with not so ordinary events that got me here.

Now that I’m well into the second quarter of my life, I am comfortable with who and where I am. Maybe I am too comfortable. I like who I am. I know a lot of people wouldn’t though. I tend to ignore the little things, not taking others seriously when they trip up over them. Little mistakes amount to nothing in my mind, yet for some reason some others hold them over my head. On the other hand, I’m more concerned by the big picture, where others don’t seem to notice or care. I feel limited by my lack of resources to affect the big picture to improve things for everyone. Now that I’ve come this far, it seems I know I have so much farther to go, but can’t seem to find the path. Am I trying? It’s hard when the day-to-day distracts. How does one start something big when the space of time left between the little things is barely enough to recover from having to take care of the little things? Hell, what would I set out to do if I had the resources? I know enough to know I don’t know enough. I do know I’m not into fighting for causes. Too often, those are too focused on too little.

I want to make the world just a little better than how it was when I entered it. Some sort of legacy. Maybe for the time being this is why I write this blog with its articles about so many different topics, from astrophysics to specific details of my own life, from the politically incorrect to religious foolishness, from dreams had to hopes yet to be realized. And yet, there is so much I don’t write about. My words in this site are the tip of the iceberg. There are memories of loss that I dare not pen down. There are experiences that most would not understand that I don’t bother to explain. And there’s mundane details of my daily life that wouldn’t be worth talking about, even on my most bored of days. (I also don’t write about details of my work.)

I’m not asking “is this all there is?”, but I am wondering how I can make more of what I have. It’s almost as though the great adventure is behind me so many years go. I am a better person now, but does that buy me a more difficult task, or a period of reprieve? I don’t ask about the meaning of life. Knowing that doesn’t make life any more meaningful. (What is the meaning of life? To live.) There’s the feeling that perhaps there’s an unfulfilled promise or perhaps some task left undone. Or perhaps I’m impatient. I do have what I want at this point. What is there for me to complain about? Perhaps the choices before me from this point on preclude each other once I take the steps towards one? I want all aspirations to be fulfilled, but feel only one can be pursued at a time.

Atlantis Honeymoon Day 7

Did I mention I got a major sunburn on our speed boat adventure the other day? It was across my back, my shoulders, belly, and around my legs. It wasn't any deep burns, but it was intense. There was minor blistering that would appears in spots and heal up in a short time as the burns went through the healing process. Par for the course for my white ass. The only issue on this day was that as part of the healing process, a lot of my burns went through the itchy phase all at the same time. I feel like I had it mostly under control. I know not to scratch the itches with fingernails, but I still had to scratch by gently rubbing with fingers. I had to take a couple of cool showers to help too. Between all this, Allie and I did do some exploring around resort again. Some portion of the day was also occupied by applying aloe cream to the burns. In fact, this was also part of the fun from the previous day too.
Here's the amazing part. I wanted to get burned to some degree. I kinda like getting the freckles, especially across the back of my shoulders. It's kinda like a cheetah pattern. ::Growl:: hehehe
Allie, with her darker skin, went through the itchy stage of her burns on the previous day sooner, and I took care of her. So on this day, she took care of me.

Our plan for the evening was to rent a hotel movie that was recently in the theaters, and have a room service dinner. Well, room service fell through and blow the plan for the evening away. I was not happy. We ended up going to one of the rest'rants in the Marina (which is part of the resort). Having the evening plans blown, I later complained to the front desk. We ended up getting the Marina meal comp'd.
Did I mention that Atlantis kinda turned out to be a disappointment? It's a good place, but not nearly worth the money. I'm perfectly willing to pay for high end items and experiences, but when I do so, I will want to get my money's worth. I don't really feel Atlantis lives up to the hype or is worth the costs. The grounds of the resort are great, but do not come up to the level that even comes close to making the expense seem earned.

Atlantis Honeymoon Day 6

The rain fell for much of the Saturday. We lounged around, and explored the resort. For the evening, we planned to go to the high end rest'rant in the Great Hall of Waters. The rest'rant was very nice. Surprisingly, the food was great. We've been a bit disappointed by Caribbean cuisine so far. Of course, this was likely the most expensive rest'rant on the island. We still had the issue of not really being able to tell who was assigned to wait our table. We settled in on making sure we got the attention of one particular assistance waiter. It's called the Great Hall of Waters because one side is the aquarium from The Dig. It is huge and beautiful. The night flew by quickly, so after dinner, we headed back up the room and called it a day.

SolidWorks Blog (more self-promotion)

Well, I've been busy recently building a new blog. It's not a personal site. It is a professional blog that is a collaboration between myself and currently two others. The topics will cover anything that is even remotely related to the 3D CAD application SolidWorks. We are getting ready for launch, sometime after Thanksgiving. The site is here: SolidWorks Legion. This has been in the works for awhile now, too long in fact. Now that I have a body of material to discuss before the big SolidWorks World 2008 conference in January, which I will be attending for the first time. All this to advance my contacts and career.

Atlantis Honeymoon Day 5

This is the day I had planned for awhile. We had a speed boat ride to a private island in The Exumas. The Exumas are a large group of tiny islands about an hours ride south of New Providence. The ride to the islands where fun. We made a quick 30 minute stop at a very small island with a rare and protected species of iguana. The staff gave us grapes and had everyone feed the iguanas by putting the grapes on sticks and holding them out. Those critters were everywhere. Supposedly the island had over a thousand iguana, but I my estimate is that no more than a hundred were on the tiny beach with us. It funny, in the U.S., a protected species means you steer clear, neither help nor hinder. I guess in the Bahamas, it means you keep the species alive by giving the critters a daily meal that in no way could be mistaken as part of their natural diet. :)

We then hopped back on the speed boat for a quick and thrilling ride to the main island where we'd be staying for the day. I had the impression that the island would be a bit bigger. Part of the trip was to provide snorkelling opportunities, but this turned out to be a 1/4 mile guided water tour that required everyone to walk back up to the beach to get back to the main area. I settled for some close to the beach snorkelling instead. The main problem is that the they operators tried to cram too much adventure into one location. See, they organized a stingray feeding (more feeding of wild animals. OK, stingrays aren't terribly dangerous. But they capped off the fun with a shark feeding. So, that was a thrill to watch too, but here's the rub. They where feeding the sharks on the same beach where we were relaxing and swimming. Hmmm. Well, Allie wasn't much up for snorkelling under those conditions. I spent some time in the water, but spent most of my time on the beach relaxing in the sun. I'll say it was great to be somewhere away from the crowds. It was not a relaxing as I had hoped for though.

The ride back was met with more aggressive driving of the speed boat by the staff. They took 1 hour to get to the private island, but shoot for 45 minutes on the return. The ride was wet and bumpy. It was fun for a little bit, but then got old quick. The speed boat adventure trip was fun, but didn't live up to expectations, as I was finding true for the Bahamas in general.

Atlantis Honeymoon Day 4

Thursday was the day I had planned to go to the main part of Nassau. The plan was to spend the afternoon and perhaps evening there. We took a small ferry across the channel from Paradise Island to Downtown Nassau. There was a tour guide of sorts on the ferry who talked about the Bahamas and Nassau and some of the mansions that were visible from the boat on Paradise Island throughout the ferry's 15 minute ride. Sarcasm may not be noted except by those who've taken the same ferry before, so I'll say directly that but I'm being sarcastic.
Once in Nassau's downtown we headed for a Starbucks to get some iced tea because it was hot. The Starbucks is right next to the ferry docking area. (I'd dare not actually call the point a dock. It is simply a spot where it looks like a good place for the boats to stop.) After Starbucks, we headed to Bay Street. Bay Street is the main tourist shopping spot in Nassau. As such, it was crammed with traffic, had very poor air quality, and felt as safe as a bad side of town in any large American city. After about an hour of this and some very minimal shopping, we decided to just head back to Atlantis.
On the ferry ride back, there was another supposed tour guide. The tour guides were entertaining. They worked for tips only. They were also completely unnecessary. Once back at Atlantis, we tried to spend the rest of the day at the pools, but the outdoor services all closed at 6pm (just as we got out there), so we decided finish exploring the Resort grounds, including having a rather expensive buffet dinner.