There's a box back there, a stranger tells me from his car

This morning, while walking Toebzilla along a main interior road, a man in his twenties drove his white car out of a rotary in my direction in the far lane.  I only took a glance at this vehicle, then diverted my attention back to the act of walking my dog.

Hmmm, I get a weird feeling, so I look back at the now slowing white car.  The man has his window down and seems as though he's trying to get my attention.  When we make eye contact, he announces to me, "There's a box back there", as he points off into the distance behind his car.

Without missing a beat, I yell back, "Alright!" in a tone that suggests ambivalent interest.  The man appears to be satisfied that he dutifully notified someone of this extremely important information.  He drives on his way.

He has indeed accomplished his mission, as I'm mildly curious regarding the presence of a box.  Is there something in the road that poses a risk to other drivers?  Is it a dropped package on the side of the road that was supposed to be delivered to a neighbor's home?  Why would this man be so concerned about a box "back there"?  

Remembering which way he had entered into the rotary, I turn around to walk in that direction to look for this mystery box.  Toebzilla resisted at first.  He knows our regular route.  After a brief protest, he relents to walk by my side.

I see nothing out-of-the-ordinary.  There's no box on this or that side of the road, nor within the lanes. Then, as I round the corner to walk down another street in the direction of my home, I see it.  I see the only thing out of place.  It's not a box.

It's a lonely shopping cart abandoned on the side of the road, across the street.  I look around with more intent to see if there was anything else even remotely nearby.  Nothing. 

Now, a thought came into my head that may be a leap in logic, but not necessarily an illogical leap.  Was the object about which this man was so earnestly trying to warn me not a box at all?  Rather, was it this shopping cart?  If so, why would this guy care so much about something so innocuous?  Did he hit it with his vehicle?  Did he already move it out of the way?  Did he have a brainfart, referring to this cart as a box?  

I will never know.  After realizing there really was nothing of interest and no good-citizen task being demanded of me, I lead Toebzilla back home.  One thing is certain.  I am now in possession of a completely useless bit of information.  This is too heavy of a burden to bear on my own.  I must now share this goofy experience with the world.

60 cents equals 1.43 dollars

It's one those mornings where I pay cash for some breakfast and the math works out to this:

• Check = $6.42
• Cash = $7.02 (five dollar bill, two dollar coins and two pennies)
• and the change you get back is $1.43. 

Being the guy that I am, I don't attempt to just take the extra 83¢.  Knowing that something is seriously wrong since there's a dollar bill and 3 pennies in my change, I immediately notify the cashier that something is wrong.

The cashier tells me she thought the two dollar coins were quarters.  Of course, that meant that the change she should have given me based on this mistake was 10¢, not $1.43.  So, the manager comes over to help out.  At first, he insists that my bill was $6.52 (the change that the cashier thought I tendered). I had to correct him twice.  He finally figures it out, takes the change back and hands me 50¢.  I don't know where everyone learned math, but that isn't quite right either.  After correcting him one last time, I finally get back my 60¢ change.

That will learn me not to pay cash!

Bad day for a couple of Subaru owners

Welp, today was a bad day for a couple of Subaru owners.

Death-defying u-turn

The first instance happened this morning near the bottom of a shallow hill on a two-way, two-lane road with rapidly moving traffic.  A maroon-color Outback rapidly pulls over to the shoulder.  The Outback is full of people and luggage, including stuff tied to the roof rack.  Cars immediately following the Outback braked to avoid a collision, with a couple of them swerving briefly into the lane of opposing traffic. Dust was kicked up a dozen feet into the air.  But, that's not all!  The lady driving the Outback activates her left turn blinker just as Allie and I approach in our car.  All of a sudden the lady veers back into the road at a sharp angle, with her front left fender heading straight for our front right fender.  Allie honked and swerved into the opposing traffic lane to avoid the collision!  The lady barely stopped in time to miss us.  Fortunately there was a gap in the traffic on the opposite lane into which we could veer.  Just as we passed, she continued her sharp turn into the lane and across into the opposite lane.  She cut out in front of the car that was immediately behind us.

Then she proceeds to make a full u-turn right in front of on-coming traffic in the opposing lane.  Traffic moving in both directions had to slam on their brakes to avoid being hit by this lady.  I'm sure she left a phantom intersection in her wake.  When I looked back, I saw a field of brake lights as we continued on.  After a few cuss words were uttered by Allie, I stated, "that the lady was driving like Clark Griswold".  "Yeah, [more expletives], Griswold!" Allie appreciatively replies.

Bang, crumble, bye-bye bike

Roof-racked bicycle might've looked
something like this before being
mangled beyond recognition.

This afternoon, as I was walking Toebzilla around the apartment complex near the parking garage, I hear the sound of metal crunching.  I turn just in time to see a Subaru with a roof-racked (apparently expensive) bicycle being torn a part as the driver drove under the height restriction bumper.  The bumper was a large, red, round and heavily constructed pipe that was mounted to the entrance ceiling.  Conveniently, the bumper had the garage's height restriction boldly printed upon it.  The Subaru would've been fine without the racked bicycle.  But, the Subaru had a racked bicycle.  The driver drove clean through and didn't stop until fully inside the garage.  The crunching sound coming from his roof didn't appear to be enough to deter him from continuing.  He stopped a few feet passed the bumper, and a few seconds too late.

The expensive looking bicycle was no longer a bicycle.  I mean, there was still kinda two wheels, but it was a mangled mess.  The roof rack was also a mangled mess.  The roof rack being attached to the roof of the Subaru likely suggests that the Subaru's roof was also damaged to some extent.

At this point, the driver still doesn't exit his car.  I think he was stunned.  He finally pulls into a nearby parking spot.  He still waits a considerable amount of time to get out.  Maybe he was surveying the damage to the roof of the Subaru from the inside?  When he finally gets out, he just stares at the mangled mess where his bicycle and roof rack formerly existed.

In what I thought to be a quiet voice, I made a comment, half to myself, half to Toebzilla, "That's an expensive mistake".  Despite the distance between us, the driver, who appeared to be of the more laid-back early-twenties variety, looks over at me and just yells "Fuck!".  I could do no more than to reply with a consoling "Yup!"  and continue on my way with Toebzilla.

It's been one of those days.

Getting lost on the elevator

Near the end of Toebzilla's walk this evening, I approached the ground level of the elevator to go back to my apartment.  This particular elevator is particularly slow.  While I'm waiting for the car to reach the bottom floor, a lady and her teenage son approached with their dog.  Toebzilla was well-behaved.  The other dog was a little excited.

As the elevator doors open, two tween girls exit and run off.  I walk into the car with Towbzilla.  The lady, her son and dog follow.  We both choose the same floor near the top.  As the elevator doors began to close, the two tweens re-enter the elevator.  They announce they got off on the wrong floor, for some obnoxious reason.  The lady and I don't say anything as the elevator doors are finally allowed to shut.  Now, for some reason, this elevator is rigged so that if the doors are held open for too long, when the doors are finally allowed to shut, they give off one long buzz while the doors shut at an extra slow speed.  So, let me just buzz to simulate that annoyance: "buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"  OK, the doors finally shut and the elevator starts to move upward.

The elevator stops at the 2nd floor.  The doors open.  No one enters and no one exits.  The tweens giggle while one of them explains how they keep getting out on the wrong floor.  As the doors shut again, I lean over and point to the buttons, saying "Ya'no, you generally use these buttons to choose floors on which you actually wish to exit."  The lady, who was bent over tending to her excited dog looks up at me with a big grin and chuckling.  As funny as that was, this comment unfortunately triggers the girls to go into several excuses about why they kept picking the wrong floors, including something about them just moving-in to the apartment complex, then something about some other girl that was apparently lost on the elevator just minutes before, and a story about them going to the wrong apartment earlier in the day.  

The lady cordially responds with a reconciliatory comment about how her son (the same in the elevator with us) once entered the wrong apartment on the wrong floor by walking in an older Chinese gentlemen.  I'm sure her son was thinking to himself "Thanks Mom!".

The tweens finally find their floor.  This allows the elevator to move upward unencumbered by any further wrong floor choices.  The lady, her son and dog exit on the same floor as I.  Toebzilla keeps his composure the whole ride up, despite the giggly tweens, multiple stops and the excited dog.  The lady and I cordially excuse ourselves with a couple of "take-cares".  

I reward Toebzilla for behaving, and our remaining walk back to the apartment was uneventful.

Accosted

My wife and I are at the grocery store. She just walked up to the ginger inbetween two older gentlemen looking for various other vegetables and things.  One gentlemen almost immediately asks here for advice on how to pick good ginger.  I can only presume he felt comfortable/secure in asking her because she is Chinese American.  He thanked her and moved on with his fine pick of ginger.

Then immediately, the other gentlemen engaged her in a conversation about her heritage,  Chinese language, etc.  I didn't interfere because it was more adorable than anything.

We finally broke away with our fine pick of ginger.

Meeting Mike Rowe

The Joke
When travelling across country late last year with my wife, I discovered a section of our hotel store at the Grand Canyon that was dedicated to Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe. There was a foam board cut out of Mike Rowe’s image. To joke with my wife, who loves Mike Rowe but who never found her way into the store, I took a photo of me with the 2D cut out. The joke turned out to be so little, Allie forget all about the photo within a couple of days.

Irony a few months later
In a bit of irony, I actually did meet Mike Rowe at SolidWorks World 2012 earlier this year. Yes, he graciously took his photo with me. Can you tell which is the real Mike Rowe?

SolidWorks World 2012 is a design conference dedicated to 3D CAD related products and services for engineering and similar fields. The conference happened to fall on Valentine's Day this year. It was in San Diego. This means, I (and many attendees) were away from our spouses on Valentine's Day. I asked Mike Rowe if he would write a Valentine's Day message to my wife (an autograph written to Allie). He signed my conference badge. I'm not going to show it here because its my gift to my wife. It is an autograph that will never be sold, and it's up to Allie to show it off!

I thanked Mike Rowe a bit too much and then told him that my wife and I have been fans since he was on Evening Magazine in the San Francisco Bay Area. He looked at me surprized, if not a tiny bit consternated.

On Stage
On stage at the conference, Mike Rowe talked about the need to bring recognition and honor back to the blue collar trades (plumbers, electricians, etc). He founded mikeroweWORKS for this purpose and to help people connect with each other in the trades.

Never order a Mojito on a plane

I had a particularly bad plane trip early this year. After multiple delays and cancellations, I was finally on my way home. Food was being offered complimentary on my flight, but not the alcohol, of course.

Looking at the food menu, I saw that Mojitos were offered. I let out a brief private chuckle at the very thought of a flight attendant trying to make a Mojito in flight. Mojitos are one of the most labor intensive cocktails, as they require crushing of mint leafs within the glass. How would any of this be accomplished on a plane? So, much to the surprize of others around me, I ordered a Mojito on a plane, just to see what I would actually get.

I was handed the following, along with the same plastic cup you get if you order soda or water.



My travel day had been particularly bad (more than most on the plane) so I give the flight attendant a quick sad story to convince him to throw in an extra Bacardi minibar bottle. A very small consolation for a very crappy day, but nice nonetheless.

That single shot of Bacardi and the bag of mint flavored lime juice was $11....and that's with me "mixing" the drink myself. Without the mint leafs, it would be debated that this was actually a Mojito at all. So, the moral of this story is to never order a Mojito on a plane.

Funny use for boobs (or turning your breasts into useful tools)

Earlier today, I witnessed something funny at my hotel. This petite young woman with her hands full (shopping bags and luggage) runs ahead of her boyfriend (who's hands are not full) to push the elevator button to go up. Since her hands are full, she tries to use one of her ample and shapely mammary organs to press the button.

She was bumping herself up against the wall panel like a robot that was stuck in one direction. Had she been paying attention, she would've noticed that I had already pressed elevator button just a couple seconds before. As the elevator door opened, I was like, "I got it already...but you were interesting to watch." She giggled. Her boyfriend looked as though he was trying to pretend the episode didn't just happen.

gol10dr's butt learns to tweet

@gol10dr: .

@gol10dr: Vkp

@gol10dr: V vn

@gol10dr: Oops! Sorry my phone was in my pocket, tweeting all by itself!  Butt tweeting?

RT @fcsuper: RT @gol10dr: Oops! Sorry my phone was in my pocket, tweeting all by itself!  Butt tweeting?

RT @gupta9665: RT @gol10dr: Oops! Sorry my phone was in my pocket, tweeting all by itself! Butt tweeting? hahahaha. so you both share same id on Twitter ;)

Super Geek

I recently went to a users group meeting for SolidWorks. SolidWorks is a 3D modelling program that engineers use to create components on the computer to have them made in real life. The fact that I feel I have to explain this may suggest that perhaps this is a geek topic. Well, in the wrong context, this can be a bit of an embarrassment to some. ::Queue wrong context:: (-:

At this meeting, for some reason they had these car large magnets that said something like "I design with SolidWorks". Not exactly the coolest statement around. Most everyone at the meeting was like scratching their head as to why SolidWorks would make these things. But, of course, I immediately realized their value. I picked one up.

I waited for the ideal opportunity to put this magnet squarely on the passenger side door of my coworker's 1989 Nissan Z. This opportunity came on Tuesday (a couple weeks ago). So on that Friday morning, Elvis comes in to work and precedes to tell me how he has been rolling all around town the day before, only to discover to his horror this magnet on the side of his car. He even explained to me why he didn't notice it right away (cuz he doesn't see the passenger side of his car very often). The only reason he found it is because he happened to need to get something from the right side of his car that night (Thursday). He was telling me this first because he knew the thoughtful gift was from me.

Of course, being the good friend I am, I made sure he knew just how long it had been on his car, since that Tuesday lunch time. He was all, "Oh man! You mean I went all over town with this super geeky thing on my car? I went [to the local college] for an evening class, rolling around pimpin' in the parking lot, laid back with my arm up on the wheel [straight armed]." Elvis takes classes at the local college in order to meet girls. So, all the while he was rolling around with confidence, he had this super geeky magnet on the side of his car, proudly displaying his inner geek for all to see.

My only regret is that I didn't pick up more of these magnets to plaster all over the passenger side of the car to amp up the humiliation, NASCAR style.