General statement about me. :)

For someone that doesn't know me, I can seem to have many contradictions. For someone that does *know* me, I can seem to have even more. However, everything about me makes perfect sense to someone that really knows me. :)

"Can you state that objectively"

Huh? I think a lot of people tend to confuse objectivity with void of any responsibility. It's like it's wrong to blame anyone for things they are doing wrong. "Objective" is a code word for "remove all blame". Sheeze.

As a general statement about our country, we have religious conversatives blaming everyone else for there own poor job performance and mistakes; and liberals trying not to blame anyone for anything. The end result is that neither side is blaming the people actually responsible screwing things up. Moderates and centralist are caught in the middle without any support from either side, so it's next to impossible to hold people accountable for their actions in government.

Tahoe

Tahoe is a pretty laid back place. I visited there with my g/f recently. It snowed early each morning, but you wouldn't know it by late morning because the snow would melt and the water evaporated so fast. I think the water evaporated quickly cuz the air is so dry there, at least when we visited. We mostly enjoyed backdrop and each other. I know, gag. lol Anyways, had fun.

My Life - Part I: The Funk Mindset

For most of my life, I lived in a funk mindset. This funk mindset is hard to explain. It was like I wasn’t fully self-aware of my own thoughts and actions at any given moment. Almost as though I was under a trance or in a haze. If life was the act of watching T.V. (not what actually is on the T.V., but the act of watching it) then this funk would be like having the volume turned almost all the way down and assuming that what little you do hear fully represents what was going on, even though you can’t hear most of what is being said. Sometimes the funk is like I was a remote spectator to my own live. Other times, I knew I was in control of my actions, but had my options unnecessarily limited, as though I was wearing blinders when looking at the situation while it was happening. Other symptoms of this funk mindset were: the feeling of complete inferior anyone else around me; lack of self-worth; natural inclination to choose the least successful or most disastrous option available; and even when I was successful at something, I didn’t really feel as though I was the reason for my success. I only seemed to have full self-awareness when I was reflecting on events after the fact, usually when I was alone, often late at night in bed. I often acted or thought in ways that confused me upon reflection.
I entered into this funk sometime before 2nd Grade, I think. I can’t remember there being a particular event that triggered it. Maybe it gradually overtook me. I first realized something was wrong when I was a teenager. I didn't have it figured out yet, though. I had enough trouble just trying to deal with the adolescence. My acute awareness of the funk didn't happen till I was 24. I really didn't exit the haze of the funk completely till I was 28.

I'm 31

It seems a lot of people end up reflecting on life sometime around the age of 30 or 31. More than one friend of my ended up asking, "where did the time go?"
Well, for me it's a bit different. I've been aware of where the time went and it zoomed by me. I starting becoming aware sometime after I turned 25. The age itself wasn't the reason. Events in that year of my life are the cause. I have since realized that my level of selfawareness, selfworth, out look on life and emotional state mark the different periods in my life. I'll go more in to this soon.

Warning about Acura reliability

The Acura TL is having some serious reliability problems. I'm under warranty, so it's not costing me anything, but the issues are bothersome.

First, my transmission broke down after 37,500 miles. It started seriously slipping gears. I brought my car into the dealership on 4/14/04. At that time, the service agent admitted that they have seen 50 cars this month so far come in for transmission problems...and that was just one dealership!!!

Second, THREE interior parts have broken without any abuse whatsoever: The mirror swivel, and both front door interior side mirror covers. Even though these parts are not technically covered under warranty, the dealership has been very gracious in fixing these free of charge.

Given the number of problems that Acura seems to be having with 2002 and 2003 model years, I am now worried about the re-sale value of my car. I had intended my TL to be my long term workhorse car, but now I'm seriously considering trading it in for something more reliable within a couple of years.

You've been warned!