Thursday, September 30, 2004

To the door dinging fuckhead

Dear Door Dinging Fuckhead,

You are an asshole. I don't care if you were drunk when you did it. I also don't care if it was your little brat of a child. I don't care if you were just having a bad day. I don't care if you are huge, and have to swing your door wide in order to get out of your car. Pay attention when you park and open your damn door.

If you got an SUV, don't park in a compact spot. You know what, don't even park in the parking lot. No spots are designed for your oversized death trap. Go park on the street!

If you got kids, then open the door for them (ever heard of Child Lock?).

If it's late at night, and you are toting around your drunkass friends, then park way the hell away from any other parked cars (again, ever heard of Child Lock? LOL). You better not be driving while drunk yourself!

If you're too fat to get out of your SUV and are toting around your 12 brats with your drunkass husband, then stay the fuck home. Never leave! Oh, and stop breeding too!

Truly yours in Christ,

P.S., I'm sorry I accidentally smashed up your car with my bat. I was just having a bad day because you dinged my car.



Mickey Glitter said...

uh-oh. that really sucks. maybe the door dinger was dizzy from the earthquake and was off-balance?

fcsuper said...

Actually, I have about eight or more dings in my car now. This isn't really the kind of thing I get upset about, but it is kinda ridiculous, ya'no. Just thought it was time to say sumfin about it.

One time, someone sideswipe my car and take off while it was parked on the street. When I found it, I was like, "Oh hey, that's sucks." Didn't get upset at all. I had a bunch of girls riding with me that evening and everyone was impressed about how cool I was about it. Yah me. hehe

Mickey Glitter said...

i've got a bangles ding on my car, of which i am totally enamored. happened up in hollywood when i was at that in-store appearance last september. gotta love it. =)

Anonymous said...

I wish I could say that to whoever put the dent in my new car! Bastards! :)